When Quitting is Expanding

This month has been good for quitting.

  • I quit the job I didn’t love.
  • I quit potty training a stubborn small human.
  • I quit blaming myself for a noxious friendship.

Each time I quit it felt like freedom: Release, relief, and expansion.

Quitting the job I didn’t love was so long overdue that the freedom, the release, and the relief morphed itself into one beautiful feeling of elation. I rejoiced again and again (and again with champagne.)

Quitting the potty training (on day five of the three day method, mind you) was the remedy I didn’t know I needed. It was deeply alleviating. Like a long rest or a hot bath.

Quitting the friendship was bittersweet but this is how expansion works. Expanding hurts but it’s the way that we create space.

Each time I quit I had to take a different path to figure out that quitting was the choice I could make.

We can get so caught up in how things should be which is really just how we hope things would be. We say things like, I have no expectations but we always have expectations. Deep in our guts we have hopes (we always, always have hope) and this is just another way that expectations creep in.

We get seduced by the potential of people (and jobs and opportunities and experiences and… and… and…)

We think of what is possible! Oh, what could be! We see potential like a rising sun and clamour for it.

Potential is hope and it keeps us in bad situations for longer than we should. Potential shows up and we excuse bad behaviour and force ourselves to chow down on gratitude (so, you hate your job but at least you have a job? #Gratitude.)

Wisdom comes when you stop force feeding yourself silver linings and 7-day-gratitude challenges.

Instead recognize when to cut your losses, when enough is enough, or when flatly: This doesn’t feel good so I’m not going to do it anymore.

We live in a culture that celebrate perseverance but ask yourself: When does my perseverance evolve into foolishness? How many times do you choose compassion over yourself (and how long ‘till you’re just a doormat?)

Quitting is enlightenment is freedom is space is expanding.


Some cool thoughts by Seth Godin on choice vs. decision.

Photo Credit:

unsplash-logoBrooke Cagle

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4 Responses

  1. Kim Chapman

    Great perspective as always! Ain’t nobody got time for the things that drag us down in life. Hope 2018 is a wonderful year of expansion, happiness, and growth for you!

  2. Denise

    Good points on the quiting even if it’s just for a little bit. I took a mild heath break from this intense program these last few days. Just to …. relax. My scale showed it. But it’s a life long battle. A day or 3 of giving in a little let me breath. Just still want the cookie

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