I lay in the bed and I waited for him. He was late, despite our efforts for him to be nearly two weeks early and yet, I was waiting.
And then as life tends do to a message came across my social feed: “Trust the timing of your life.” He was born two days later.
2014 was a marvelous year. The kind of year where everything stood still as time gradually passed. Being pregnant, I stopped all the doing. I stopped networking. I stopped entertaining. I stopped it all and said no (a lot).
I had the easiest excuse when I’d say no. “Um, excuse me? I’m growing a human so…… no.”
I did only what felt good. Sunny days. Movie days. Couch surfing. Ice cream. Reading. Writing. Ice cream.
In fact, I did what I promised myself I’d do.
Yet, 2014 had it’s challenges. I wasn’t floating an inch off the ground sniffing through rose gardens abloom. I started the year recovering from a miscarriage and navigating through this new, uncharted sadness. The year also started off jobless and in fact ended jobless as I was laid off twice last year (uh huh, twice.)
But here’s the thing, and IT’S ALWAYS THE “THING”, just trust. Trust your path. Trust your life. Trust timing. Trust in magic.
The timing of it all, was right. In the moment it felt wrong. Wrong time to be jobless. Wrong to miscarry. Wrong, wrong, wrong. But here it is: it was alright and all right. Matters of timing are fickle in that it never feels right. Either nothing is happening or not enough is happening or everything is happening too damn slowly. Or, on the contrary, maybe everything and anything is happening now and it feels like way too much. Consider that it only happens when it’s supposed to happen. Period.
When we embrace the ebbs and flows of the timing of our lives, we create the space needed to explore (self.) Releasing the struggle of timing, I found I was more creative, funnier, and less forgetful this year. Perhaps even happier.
Looking off into the distance which is 2015 I see…
Vast openness. Freedom. Mothering. Creating. Anything.
Photo Credit: Daria Nepriakhina