Perfectionism is a drag. It creeps in as people-pleasing acts and bogs you down in all it’s overly critical ways. It’s all judgement and no love.
I’m a recovering perfectionist. Or at least as of today I am. I’ve paid attention to the cues and realized — shit, I’m one, too.
I want to ditch perfectionism. Really, I want to stop wanting it, stop asking for it, and I just want to be flawed, instead. I want to tell you I’m argumentative, overly tenacious, and high strung. I often say the wrong thing. I’m impatient like you wouldn’t believe. And I’M GOOD WITH IT.
But instead, I try to control my flaws, stifle my true self and I aim to be on pointe all the time. Which is exhausting.
The strife in valuing perfectionism is that it is a fruitless quest. There is no destination to be sought because it doesn’t exist. Perfectionism is a myth!!! It boils down to pleasing someone else. Your parents. Your boss. Your lover. Whether they put these expectations on you or you put them on yourself, it’s layer after layer of complete bullshit.
Becoming a Mom this year has put my own battle with perfectionism in the limelight. My shittiest traits are on a highlight reel and I’m humbled every day by the fact that my flaws are alive and thriving and not going anywhere. I have to accept them.
Accepting myself is one part candor, one part courage, and a whole boat load of vulnerability.
Being vulnerable is a downright difficult act. It takes stripping away all the protections we layer on each day and instead, we show our hearts.
There is so much power in vulnerability. Showing our heart and letting it all hang out, in all of it’s weirdness and it’s raw, edgy bits, is an act of celebration. It’s a sacred honouring of ourselves, of our deepest desires and fears, and when you do it, it feels awfully like fireworks going off.
When we show our hearts we create space for the stuff that really matters. We let go of the rigid restrictions of perfectionism and the space that it takes up inside of us and we let in the stuff that matters; the stuff that makes us feel good and alive and loved.
Ditching habits, especially the ones ingrained in our hearts that we think might just protect us after all, is a battle in itself. But we can try and work and let ourselves out to breathe once and awhile. And the more we do it, the easier it’ll become and before you’ll know it: you will have Become.
He said, “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and you get shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.” – The Velveteen Rabbit
Photo Credit: Amanda Sandlin